Giving Thanks

Dear Jakey,

Today at church, Father Paul talked about being thankful. He talked about being thankful for all the little things and not just the "big ticket" items - family, friends, etc. He talked about waking up and being grateful for his morning coffee, his breath of fresh air, his legs that walked him across the field. It got me thinking. We are grateful for so much - yet among the things he talked about taking for granted was something that would be incredibly monumental to you. We cannot take for granted that you could walk across a field and take a breath of fresh autumn air. These are the things he spoke about in the scriptures and things we need to think about and be grateful. He spoke of thinking of a hundred things that we are grateful for and it seemed harder to me as I could not use some of the examples of things that so many of us take for granted. Yet I am thankful for so much more because of you - I appreciate what each breath can mean, I appreciate what being healthy means - because those of us close to you know what it is like when health is taken for granted. Last May when you had pnuemonia, and you were in a body cast I think each of us were hanging on to each of your breaths and were truly scared of what may happen. You have taught us to be grateful for each moment.

Today I can say that I am thankful for the knowledge we have. Yesterday I couldn't say that. Yesterday I spent the day being sad and aggravated about the converstation we had with Dr. Browning. While it was a productive conversation and today I can say I am thankful for the dedication she has towards finding a diagnosis, I couldn't get out of my own way yesterday. Yesterday was hard. It is not easy to know that the things we are learning are things that will only make your life more difficult. I wish that was not the case. I wish the things we learned gave us easy answers. Regardless, I am thankful for you and for each moment with you. I will resolve to not take things for granted that others are thankful for and try to recognize each moment for what it is. I will talk to Dr. Browning again on Tuesday with positive energy and belief that knowledge is power and will be thankful that someone cares enough to work so hard for you.

Much love little buddy,
Mommy